Musturbation
This post follows the theme of Cognitive Distortions, that group of ten styles of thinking known as twisted or distorted thoughts.
Our thoughts, vision, hearing, mental imagery and feelings are interconnected, and our thoughts will often generate mental pictures, and feelings. Sometimes the feelings trigger the thoughts, and sometimes an internal image will trigger feelings, so it depends on how you are personally and internally wired up for your own cinematic production!
Musturbation is a word that was coined by Albert Ellis, a famous psychologist, to describe a group of words that we use to attempt to motivate ourself or others, for that matter.
Think of the ways that you use these words: should, must, have to, got to…
Ever said to yourself, “I should go to the gym”, or “I must not eat chocolate”, or “I have to finish this assignment”, or “I’ve got to do the washing!” This group of words while seemingly motivating or commanding are usually a trigger to avoid doing things and this may lead to feeling more down about oneself, and less inclined to take action, so if you are depressed, stressed or anxious, you’ve now found a way to feel even less confident and less happy with yourself.
Motivation
If you have ever used should, or must or have to, or got to, then think of that sentence and notice whether or not you feel motivated and are ready to act on that thought?
Or perhaps instead, you notice a feeling of resistance inside which causes you to move away from that thought to something more pleasurable? Such as, “I’ll go to the gym tomorrow” and a feeling of relief then takes the place of that thought.
And secretly inside where no-one else knows, you know that tomorrow is a long way away and that you might just be able to avoid it again tomorrow! Here’s another thought, that because these words bring about this response in you, it is easy to be self-hypnotised time and time again, which simply makes the problem worse. Of course, this is all happening at a sub-conscious level so that there is no conscious awareness of the mind trap that is continuously self-perpetuating.
In essence, if you think that this group of words will motivate you or someone else, I guess you are musturbating …. just playing with yourself!
Motivation Solutions
So what can you do instead?
Simple! Use words such as “I feel great after my gym workouts!” and picture yourself looking proud of your efforts, and then enjoy the feelings that are produced. Now say firmly and with commitment, “I’ll go there now!”
The trick is to turn those old thoughts and beliefs around so that you encourage yourself with positive and attainable results, rather than being resentful about doing something. Which when you have done it, you know you will feel good about.
Enjoy your new found freedom in being in control. The video has a similar message and is stated a little differently.
Please do post your comments after.
