Discount Positives
I had a funny thought and smiled as I wrote the title, Discount Positives, that it was like positives being on sale at a discounted price!
Well, I wish it were so, and this post is actually about how people cut the positive aspects down and discount or disregard those positives so that they ignore anything positive and focus only on the negatives of their experience.
For example, you make a great dinner, and yet you focus on the fact that you forgot to add cinnamon to the dessert cream and so (in your eyes and taste buds) the desert wasn’t any good. Any compliments or praise given to you is discounted by you in the face of your ‘failure’ to add some spice, “oh it wasn’t very good, I’m so disappointed in myself because I forgot to add the cinnamon”.
How does it make you feel when you take the positive out of yourself, or events or activities? It can make you feel inadequate, worthless, not good enough.
What can you do instead?
Challenge the thought immediately by telling yourself in great detail all the things you did right. If it was dinner, you might list every ingredient you prepared and how well you did that, then list every dish you cooked and everything that looked, smelled and tasted great for each dish, then repeat every piece of praise or compliment you received, and then say, “that means I cooked a great meal”.
By allowing yourself to dwell on the negative and discount the positive you are denying yourself pleasure and happiness.
Plus, if someone praises or compliments you and you don’t accept that, isn’t it just a little disrespectful to that person because in essence you are saying that their opinion doesn’t count? Maybe they are not an expert, yet everyone who shares a compliment does not have to be an expert, do they? Simply, they want to share their good feelings about you, with you, kind of like sharing the love.
